Let me tell you a story about my friend, Sadie. One evening, over a cup of tea, she confided in me, tears streaming down her face. “My husband called me a fat cow,” she whispered, the pain evident in her voice. Imagine hearing such words from the one who vowed to cherish you. My heart broke for her, and perhaps your heart is breaking too. As a relationship consultant, I’ve heard similar stories. I’m here to tell you that there’s a way to handle such situations – to regain your self-esteem, cultivate a healthier relationship, and inspire a change in your partner.
Why does my partner keep calling me fat?
Before we dive into the actions you can take, it’s essential to understand why your partner might be saying hurtful things about your weiunderstandht. It’s possible that they may be projecting their insecurities onto you or using negative comments as a means of control. Sometimes, partners may also lash out due to their unhappiness in the relationship or personal issues such as stress or low self-esteem, emotional abuse, distorted view of what a healthy body looks like, influenced by societal pressure and media message manipulation. None of these reasons justify their actions or words. When your partner criticizes your weight, it can be easy to internalize their words and let them affect your self-esteem.
My Husband Called Me A Fat Cow: 7 Things You Can Do
How do I get over my husband calling me fat? What to do if your husband thinks you’re fat? These are common questions that may be running through your mind. Here are seven things you can do to help yourself heal and move forward:
1 . Educate your partner about body positivity
“My husband called me a ‘fat cow’ not knowing I’m pregnant,”- tweeted a netizen, and it went viral. Her husband’s insensitive words highlighted the ignorance and lack of awareness around body positivity.
Use this as an opportunity to educate your partner about the harmful effects of weight shaming and how body diversity should be celebrated. Start by explaining the concept of body positivity, emphasizing that it’s about loving and appreciating all body types, including your own.
Share resources such as books, articles, or documentaries focusing on body positivity and the dangers of body shaming. Encourage open and honest discussions about body image, self-esteem, and the impact of negative comments.
2 . Accepted and confident in their skin.
“My husband called me fat postpartum”- another tweet that resonated with many women who struggle with body changes after pregnancy. It’s important that your worth is not determined by a number on a scale or the size of your clothes.
Practice self-love and acceptance, regardless of what others may say. Focus on your positive attributes and qualities beyond physical appearance.
Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, and engage in activities that make you feel confident and happy. The more confident and secure you are in your skin, the less impact hurtful comments will have on you.
3 . Creates a positive and supportive environment where both individuals feel loved and value
“How can I continue my marriage when my husband called me fat?”- posted a heartbroken woman on an online forum. Her question is valid, and many people struggle with self-acceptance after being called fat by their partners.
You create a positive and supportive environment where both individuals feel loved and valued for who they are rather than what they look like. This acceptance reduces the risk of developing insecurities or negative body image, which can strain the relationship.
When we feel good about ourselves, we are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors, maintain positive relationships, and contribute positively to the world.
4 . Focus on your health, not your weight
“My husband threw away all my food because I’m a cow.”- this type of behavior not only promotes disordered eating and an unhealthy relationship with food but also ignores the fact that health is more than just weight.
It prioritizes your physical and mental well-being over societal beauty standards. Instead of obsessing over losing weight, focus on making healthier lifestyle choices that make you feel good from the inside out.
Exercise, eat nourishing foods, and engage in activities that bring you joy., health and happiness come in all shapes and sizes. Your weight does not determine your worth as a person. When you prioritize your health and well-being, you set an example for others to do the same.
5 . Stick to them the next time your partner makes a hurtful comment.
“How can I continue my marriage when my husband called me fat?”- posted a heartbroken woman on an online forum. Her question is valid, and many people struggle with self-acceptance after being called fat by their partners.
It creates boundaries and lets your partner know that hurtful comments are unacceptable. Stick to those boundaries if your partner continues to make hurtful comments about your weight.
Remember, sticking to these boundaries for your self-worth and relationship is essential. Sometimes, dealing with hurtful comments from a partner can be challenging to handle alone. It’s okay to seek help from a therapist or counselor to work through these emotions and improve communication in your relationship.
They can also guide how to deal with body image issues and create healthy boundaries within the relationship.
6 . Don’t blame yourself
“My husband calls me fat and lazy”- another common complaint amongst women as they are often the primary caregivers and may struggle with weight gain due to their responsibilities. Your partner’s words reflect their insecurities and issues, not yours.
Don’t internalize their comments and blame yourself for something, not your fault. You are more than just a caregiver; your worth goes beyond physical appearance. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments; don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise that you are worthy and deserving of love.
Don’t let their words define you – remember that you are so much more than your weight, and their opinions should not hold power over you.
7 . Set realistic expectations and goals
“My husband threw away all my food”- a comment left on a social media post about the consequences of weight shaming. This is not an isolated incident; many individuals struggling with body image and weight may develop unhealthy habits due to shame and pressure from their partners.
Discuss and set realistic expectations and goals, considering each other’s needs and preferences. Respect each other’s autonomy and choices regarding food and exercise. Instead of trying to conform to society’s unrealistic beauty standards, set achievable goals for your health and well-being.
This could improve your strength, endurance, or overall mental and physical health. Avoid setting weight or appearance-related goals, often leading to disappointment and negative self-talk. True happiness comes from within, and focusing on your overall wellness is a much more sustainable and positive approach.
FAQS
Does fat matter in a relationship?
No, it does not. Never Should a husband ever call his wife. A person’s weight should not determine their worth or the success of a relationship. It’s important that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and what truly matters is the connection and love between two people.
Studies from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology indicate that shared values, emotional compatibility, and mutual respect are far more significant predictors of relationship satisfaction than physical characteristics.
How do you react to someone calling?
When your partner criticizes your weight, It’s natural to feel hurt, angry, and even defensive when someone calls you fat. It can significantly affect the conversation’s outcome and your relationship with your partner. Here are some tips on how to handle being called fat:
- Take a deep breath and try not to react impulsively.
- Remind yourself that their words reflect their issues, not yours.
- Communicate how their words made you feel and why it’s not acceptable.
- Make it clear that weight shaming is not tolerated in your relationship.
- Don’t argue or try to defend yourself – this will only escalate the situation.
- Focus on self-care and surround yourself with positivity.
What is body shaming in a relationship?
Body shaming in a relationship refers to any negative comments or behaviors towards a partner’s physical appearance, specifically regarding their weight. It can be overt or subtle and may come from your partner’s insecurities or societal beauty standards. Body shaming can have detrimental effects on self-esteem, body image, and the overall health of a relationship. It is never acceptable behavior in a loving and respectful partnership.
Should your partner comment on your weight?
No, your partner should not comment on your weight or body in a derogatory manner. Healthy relationships involve mutual respect and support for each other’s well-being. If your partner is concerned about your health, they should communicate it non-judgmentally and respectfully rather than shaming or criticizing you. It’s to set healthy boundaries and communicate openly about issues that may arise in a relationship.
Conclusion
Body positivity is about embracing and loving all body types, including our own. Focus on health rather than weight, set realistic goals, and communicate effectively to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. True beauty comes from within and extends far beyond physical appearance. Loving ourselves unconditionally sets an example for others to do the same. So, let’s strive towards building loving and accepting relationships where body shaming has no place.
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